So here's to catching up!

So I am going to start posting here again, because I have been using myspace and like this place better. It's more for me. I'll probably put the more private stuff here. Anyway this is what I have wrote since my previous post:

Monday, December 19, 2005 So, I am finally beginning to get used to being home. I still feel like there's so much I should be doing when all I need to do is REST. I saw my HS chorus perform the Christmas segment of Messiah yesterday. I am so proud of them. They continue to improve and if my H.S. has anything to be proud of, well, it's them. Mrs.Burkhart told me I needed to learn the music, because they'll repeat it every two years and then I'd have a solo. :) Gotta love her. I saw many of my close friends, both fellow alumni and current students. I missed them dearly. I saw my good friends Anna, Nathan, John and Ashley. All of which I haven't seen in a long while. Hectic schedules and all. It is nice to catch up. It's easy to appreciate the easy familiarities of people when you had been in a place where you had to make new friendships which take time and effort. (minus a few who were instant friends whom I miss currently) I visited my highschool today and was warmly welcomed. It's strange to watch your old school's change. There are plenty of people I sill have to make arrangements to see. *phew* Lot's to do. Oh, and I managed to make it out of my first semester of college with a 3.24 GPA which is AMAZING considering that I could have worked MUCH harder. By the end of this year my GPA will be just the way I want it. I officially went hard core into my healthier regimen today. I'm not going to lie.... it was not fun. I'll get used to it though. It's good for me all-in-all. It still doesn't feel like Christmas and it doesn't help with all the loonies complaining that everyone should say HAPPY HOLIDAYS instead of MERRY CHRISTMAS. All I have to say is the holiday wouldn't be here if it wasn't for the birth of Christ so people can just deal or don't celebrate. It is a CHRISTMAS tree with CHRISTMAS decorations. None of this HOLIDAY tree buisness. Anyways... I really look forward to all that this vacation has in store. I already have plans to go on a church trip called Winter Extreme. There'll be Christian bands and bible studies. Stuff of that nature. :) It's going to be spectacular. Well, I'm going to go get some junk out of my car and play some video games with my brother. I'll keep this updated when interesting things happen.

Thursday, December 15, 2005 So, I'm home. YAY! Praise the lord that I got here in one piece. Traffic was horrible closer to home due to a sink hole on Paper Mill. Yesterday I went with a Misty and Ashley to breakfast, the mall , and church. Overall, it was a nice way to adjust to being back in my small town. Today, not so hot. The weather is brooding with rain and grey skies. It makes me tired, but not the normal drozy tired. The tired in which you ache and long to lie in bed and bury yourself in covers. Disappear. I've begun cutting out bad foods and by Monday should be on a full fledged health fest. Every time I go home it's like returning to this reoccuring bad dream. The one where you know what's going to happen and after having it enough times you are either desperately staying awake or find a way to adjust to this nightmare. Everytime I come back it's the same problems. Every once and a while there is a little twist, buit mainly the same. I feel like if I don't leave I'll get trapped. That this circle of continuity will keep living through me. It probably doesn't make sense to the reader, these words I write. To make you understand I would probably have to write a book about my life i this place. The memories held within these buildings and streets. Or maybe that would just make you more confused. Either way the weather is bringing out the brood within me and I don't like it at all. I long to visit the friends I miss. Yet, at the same time there are a few who haven't tried to contact me and I'm left pondering. You know, the typical questions one may ask when no longer seeming needed by those they care about. In the end, no matter what I feel today, I blame it on the rain.

Monday, December 12, 2005 So, I saw the plans for my Cats cotume and it is amazing, to say the least. It is quite hot. And my makeup is unbelievable! So, here's the downfall... no dessert for break and definately nothing but water because I'm going to look as slim as possible without being stupid and starving myself. It's going to be great and I'm going to get the word out to all my friends. I can't wait to go home. I leave tommorrow afternoon Well, I gotta go on a bank run to buy my mom's Christmas present. Ciao!

Sunday, December 11, 2005 Why does it seem like more than half the population on campus has to get drunk to have fun? It's sad to me when u go to these parties and introduce yourself to the same ppl over and over, because every time they get wasted and forget you. I return home, smell of smoke and other ppl's alcohol, and feel more alone than before I went. Random ponderings is all.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005 So, I've been super busy and need to catch you up. Last weekend=Christmas at Belmont for PBS. It was hectic and took up way too much of my time. Afterwards we had an awesome reception with food, drinks, and live music. I love my crazy friends who accompanied me in dancing like someone with a seizure. LOL just kidding, but we really just let ourselves get crazy. Paige and I are killer at dancing like hippies. This was Saturday. Sunday was somewhat uneventful and I had to sing at a church in my awful choir dress. I also got to read the part of Adam (heh, brilliant) and Reader 10. It was hilarious I must say especially when Paige had to be Mary and say in front of the congregation, "But, I've never slept with a man before." By the way voice inflection can really do a number with that line. All in all my life was dedicated to choir next weekend. Monday was dance auditons for Cats. It was INSANE, but fun. I find my self moving cat like now. Tuesday was singing. I've been crazily running around trying to get things accomplished and getting nowhere. AAARRRGGHHH! I have so much to do before I leave Tuesday/Wednesday next week. I can't wait to see my Seymour buds!!! Oh, and today I went to a cast party for Children of Eden which was a BLAST! We played Catch Phrase and it was incredible. I love my crazeh musical theatre folks. Well, I have to study and write papers so see ya later!

Saturday, December 03, 2005 So last night was a blast. Some friends and I got down at a Christmas party held at the Curb. You can guess how well I dance by the statement above. (got down?) We then slapped on some pjs and ate cookies while Christmas decorating ensued. It was a blast and I loved every minute of it because I knew that Saturday and Sunday meant Belmont concert, finals study, and trying to prepare for Cats auditions. I can't wait until Christmas break when I get to visit friends and lounge. :) Anywho, I think I am going to go read my ballet book to pass my 10 question final which leaves little room for error.

Monday, November 28, 2005 So, I have a crazy week ahead and all I can think about is the fact that we have Christmas Break in, like, THREE weeks!!!! YESSSS! Anyways, I have alot of junk to do so I'll write more later.m Ciao!

DiSsApOiNtMeNt

So, maybe I had a fairytale idea of thanksgiving break being this amazing thing. Maybe I should not expect so much. *sigh* Ok, so, 1st of all I haven't had much quality time with my mom because she's basically working to keep me in school. I haven't had quality "sit and chat" time with my friend Misty because she is constantly busy, so the time I have spent with her was running around to different places with ppl I don't know and feeling awkward. We are combining our Thanksgiving dinner with our neighbors, which ultimately means alot of whining spoiled kids and irritated parents, or simply put uncomfotable buffet dining + a prayer interlude. I'm bummed because I came home for family/friend time finding only racy, crazy moments of conversation and overall feeling more alone than I did before I got here. Other than my brother whom I love dearly for being the laid back guy he is. Ultimately I'll probably spend a majority of my time playing video games with him. lol I don't know. It seems every time I go home I'm reminded why I left. Is that bad? I mean a part of me is glad to see them, but a part of me feels so detached from this small town. I'm so confused. I guess I'll just have to pray and be patient. Wish me luck and I wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving! G-nite.

HaLlOwEeN rEcAp

So, this is my weekend. Friday, I had classes, typical, and later that night had to watch Hotel Rwanda for class. It is a very well created film that made me very depressed, not only for what happened, but for events such as in Sudan that are not helped as well. Went to what I thought would be a fun Halloween party to cheer me up. WRONG. It was a bunch on freshman college students stuck in an immature high school mindset getting wasted. We left. However, time getting there was an hour, as well as back. Anyway, the positives. During the drive the stars outside were AMAZING, especially since where I live you cannot see them. They were so brilliant I looked in awe. We went to Wendy's and grabbed a bit of late night grub and met some drunk Vanderbilt guys. Britt and I went to the gas station across the street from campus to rent a movie to reconcile the evening and had some guys who were high talk to us and ask us if we wanted weed. Luckily they did this across the parking lot, got bored, and left. :) We rented elf and I was so tired by that point I went to bed. Saturday, I had to get up early to leave to watch SETC for musical theatre at 7:15am. Spent the whole day there so I could support all who auditioned and went to lunch with Gabe and Paige at Pizza Hut. *nummy* Oh and in his car we listened to the Goofy Movie soundtrack! It was priceless. We went to Gabe's so he could grab a few things, went back to campus, and I went with some friends to see Fall Follies, our annual comedy show that pokes fun at Belmont. I'll have to buy a DVD to show my friends. I had only at Pizza Hut all day, so my roommate and I went to Harris Teeter to buy grub, but it was 11:05 and they close at 11. So, we went to the gas station and bought icecream and hot pockets. I also got a large cherry ICEE. We went back to the room and I attempted to watch Elf again and failed again due to fatigue. Sunday, I got up and realized I had stuff I had to get immediately. Got dressed quick and headed to AmSouth. Found out I had alot less money than I should. Went to Walmart where I only had funds to purchase the most essential of products in store brand form. On the way back my mapquest directions fell to the floor on the otherside of my car. I had to pull to the side of the highway and even with the directions I got lost because Mapquest is worthless. I went to a church to get directions (seemed most reasonable, church=direction:) ) and got back with fifteen minuted to get ready for church. *sigh* Got ready and went to this awesome church that I will probably attend full time now. Came back and ate a horrible brunch at the cafeteria. Went to an hour and a half required Classical voice recital. Ran to my dorm and drank some hot cider as I threw on my Halloween attire. Drove to the zoo to volunteer from 4:30 to 9:00pm and helped children decorate pumpkins. All the kids were so cute and other than the extreme freezing nature of the outdoors their smiles kept me warm. We left and went to Noah's for a while and got bored and went back to the room where I slept. So, that is all. I must go now because I have a serious paper to write and I thought this might help me clear my head. TTYL and Happy 1st Day of November!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ClOsE 2 pErFeCt

That is my life right at this moment. Close to perfect. My mom sent me homemade cookies, I won a twenty dollar Walmart giftcard in a costume contest, my solo in seminar was canceled, I found out one of my favorite recording artists is having a concert in Nashville in December and there is a REAL possibility my mom and I are going, and I am so comfortable right now. Now, I am not saying I don't have alot going on or nothing in my life is unpleasant. But, all that is out weighed. That's why life is CLOSE to perfect. *sigh* How lovely. Also, I have found myself becoming quite the comedian to my friends. Oh, and in Bible study I gave my testimony for the first time in my life and it went pretty well. I feel such a connection with those girls now. It's amazing. A weight has been lifted. Anyway, that's what's going on in my world. Hope all is well in yours. In case I don't get to say it later HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!! Love ya. Bye. :)

YaY 4 JeSuS

Yeah, so with God's help I enjoyed a rough and crazy Monday. A big AMEN from me. Plus, I had an awesome bible study tonight. It was enlightening. However, next week I am giving my testimony. I am not sure why I volunteered, a part of me just felt I should. I'm so nervous. Most of the ppl begin with something like "I was blessed to grow up in a Christian home". heh Yeah, mine, not so much. So I will definately be a different story. I'm so nervous. My story is sort of crazy and depressing at times. There are some pretty uplifting parts though. *sigh* I'm giving it to God though. I know there is a reason I need to tell my story. Anyway, I've decided if I die young it will be because of the caf food. It's eating at me and I'm tired of trying to digest it. *yuck* Well, I'm going to work on my research paper a bit and hit the hay. Hope everyone's live's are doing well and remember, if ya need help the big man upstairs is always there. So, am I. :) And I'm willing to lend a shoulder if need be. God bless and sweet dreams.

Also, we are doing this incredible dance for "Generations". Whoop whoop!

NiGhT oF cHaNgE

So, yesterday was pretty crazy for the good 'ol heart. It's fixed now though so WHOOP WHOOP. I went to a musical theatre party which was pretty fun. Then, April and I left to go to Chris and Kevin's apartment to play video games. That didn't happen. April had a long discussion with her ex-b/f on the phone so I fell a sleep for a little while. I woke up and suddenly our plans changed to sneaking into the Sheraton and finding a place to wait and watch the sunrise. So, we got it and got to the 28th floor where there was a 360 view of downtown Nashville. So, we ended up sitting in seperate places. This is how I came to find my place inside and fixed my broken self. As I watched the lights, some pulsing & others constantly lit, I saw an orchestra of lights playing this beautiful song. Like I would look at the different groups of pulses, made sounds for them in my mind, and had my own beautiful orchestra only I could enjoy. I was in such an awesome place. So I found every way of looking at the world below by going on this pillar like object by standing so I was almost head to head with the ceiling and looking out, which was amazing, and laying on my stomach w/ my arms stretched out and resting on the window sill, equally amazing. The mix of silence and array of lights helped put me in a relaxed state I haven't been in since I got here. So, during this time it was like a voice in me was telling me to examine myself. Not the negatives that I noticed lately in my self-evaluation, but the stuff that made me, me. The components that made me interesting and different and I was able to see how important I really was and that somewhere was someone who would appreciate those things. It was exactly what I needed. It was as if God finally answered my desperate prayers. I've been beaming inside since. I told my roommates and they were really glad because even they worried about how I was doing. So, that's all. I then had my hour and a half of sleep and went to church to have some Jesus time which would have went better if I was more conscious, but was great anyway. After brunch I went to Bongo Jave and got me some coffee and now I shall go do some serious homework. I hope all is well with everyone else and I just thought I'd write about this because it's awesome to me. Keep smilin' and God Bless.

WoW mOnDaY

Yeah, so today went okay and I had me some tea. *yummy* I got my mom's pharmaceutical package for my cold. *smile* I'm in love with reggae music right now, because I like the flow of it. It makes me happy and chill. I have bible study tonight so that is awesome. I love getting some Jesus time on the most hectic day of the week. Good start. Plus, at times I find that I try to keep too much control when I need to just give it to the him. He knows what he's doin'. :) I can't wait to go home in 9 days!!!! Get me some video game play, hugs, furry animal hugs, and see my buds in high school. Anyway, I'm going to work on my papers and such. So, adios and wish me luck because my roommate is PMSing to the max and, well, it's scary. Like Carrie or something. :)

YaHoOooo....ZzZzZz

Yeah, so boring day and then I thought we should call Noah. Wait I should start at the beginning. SO, I slept in until 10-ish which was marvelous. My roommates got in a lil scuffle and I became uncomfortable and awkward. I try and help both separately with their problems at breakfast, mmm waffles. April, Katie, and I go to Bellevue mall to order my contacts. Steph, or I, have to stop at a gas station because mapquest gave me an add. That does not exist. My friends got icees and a twix king size while I got directions from some friendly country folk. We go to the way out there mall. I order my contacts. April buys an $11 dollar pair of jeans, which would be all the purchases because she left her credit card at our dorm. So, April feels better. YAYAYAY! I realize that tonight we have to do something other than sit in our dorm. We are pent up with energy. So, I say lets call Noah. We call Noah and plan to come over. Later we find that Britt wants to go to the Disco. April and I are not disco. Britt has had a bad weekend. I tell her to go to the dance and we help her get sizzlin' for the event. We get closer as roommates as we help each other through each others frustrations, depressions, homesickness, and hormones. LOL So this is where the REAL fun starts. So, April an I go to Noah's. He's not there immediately so we sit in the car and jam to "You and me baby aint nothin' but mammals" (don't know the title), "Shake it Off", and "Chariot". Good songs. Noah, Chris, and Kevin arrive. We watch a quick end to last seasons "America's Next Top Model" and half an episode of "Punk'd". We leave, and go to Hard Rock Cafe where I spent money I didn't need to spend, nor probably have. We then left and wandered around Downtown Nashville in which one of our stops was a quaint little ice cream shop with a live country singer. It was brilliant. We then left and went to Chris and Kevin's place where we played Melee and Halo II and listened to them play guitar until 5 am. April and I fell asleep to the serene guitar strums. It was nice and relaxing and I thoroughly enjoyed it. However, I must now go to sleep for church tom. So goodnight and pray for my alertness tom. morning. LOL

BrIgHt FuTuRe

So thank GOD, honestly, I'm going home for fall break from Oct. 13-16! PRAISE JESUS!!! I need it. I miss my mom. I miss my animals. That includes my brother. LOL J/K But really, I miss playing Gamecube with my brother. Monday I am getting a care package with cold supplies to help me get well. My mom should win a friggin' award for best mom EVER!!!! My roommates are the party type so I don't see them sitting in here and caring for me. Ofcourse, I have that kind of motherly quality so I tend to do that for everyone and end up expecting it in return. Cause I'll tell ya what, when my mom gets sick or has a problem I take care of her. It's only fair. But, I'm not complaining, because I know that I expect to much from college freshman ready to get their groove on at any cost. I prefer a relaxing night in mostly. Because, when I get them it's amazing. :) Nathan, I'm sure you understand that point. So I'm going to go to bed and pray that in a short amount of time I will be rid of my plugged nose, crummy throat, plugged ears, and sinus headaches. Yes, my body is crumbling. So tomorrow I go to the store and buy Echinaecia with rosehips and vitamin C and other vitamins to build a better me. :) Night and I wish everyone a good weekend.

SoN oF a ....... *ChOo*

Yeah so I hate the world because I caught a cold/virus. I'm not sure what since I woke up with it. Stupid microscopic dimineon of satan!!!!!!

KiD fUn

So, last night I was abandoned and had nothing to do. I went to met with my group to discuss how we are going to get our project together for Monday. Luckily, not long into our meeting a Twister party started in the lobby of our dorm building. So, I joined. Ate a lot of candy and got pretty tangled. It was definately fun and was a blessing because I was at a really bad place at the time. Long story. Possibly relating to a long week? I think so. I then went back to my room very relaxed and very thankful to God for providing me a release. I then wrote a note on my door to my roommates that I had gone to bed and to come in quietly or I would lose it. :) Needless to say every part of my being is counting down the days until Fall break starting Oct. 13. It's only Thursday through Sunday, but I NEEEEEEDDDDD it. Well, that's it. Good-day.

YaY!

So, this weekend everyone's parents are visiting, but my mom can't since she cannot afford it. Honestly, REALLY cannot afford it. She was really upset about it and so I had to calm her down and convince her everything was gonna be okay, that I loved her, and she was one of the best mom's in the world. So, I didn't wanna be stuck here, therefore I'm gonna visit my buddies at other colleges. YAY!!! I'm so excited. I know I 'm gonna visit John and if my ironic life lets me get a hold of him beforehand, Nathan. YAAAAAYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!! I haven't seen their colleges before. I'm excited! WOOOP WOOP! Anyway, so that's it. I'm going to go work on my homework so I have more free time this weekend. "You don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows." -Bob Dylan

HeH-hEh

Yeah, so I definately just wrote 4 of my 5 pages of roughdraft now and it is I guess technically due later today since it is 1 in the morning. By class time at 7pm I shall have a rough draft. Bwahaha! I am the QUEEN!!!!! Sry. Got carried away. I think I shall sleep so I am ready for my theory proficiency at 8am. *sarcastic cheers* Oh, and Nathan call me if you get my message or email if you didn't and I'll tell ya then. Adios folks!

SaMe Ol' TrOuBlE

Haven't wrote the rough draft to my paper due wednesday. Probably do it tommorrow night. Lord bless me.

UgG

Got to bed after 5am, got up for 8:45am oratorio rehearsal. YOU do the math.

DePrEsSeD

So, I have come to a point where I am depressed. All is downhill seeming and nothing bright and glimmery. I feel alone, like I am the odd man out. Not to say that I am being left out. I'm confused and overloaded with work and dates and times. I'm having trouble sorting things out. I'm dealing with my problems, my friends problems, my family's problems..... I just feel a little out of control. I don't want to bring others down so I fake a grin or shake it off. I need a break. I plan on going home in October during fall break, but it feels to long. Centuries away. I miss my animals. I saw a puppy tied outside of a restauraunt today and was almost late for class because I did not want to quit playing with him. I'm tired of my friends pressure to find a boy. WHO CARES? I'm at a "Christian" based school, however half the people are pretending for the school board. Then, as soon as theirs peers come along, whoo-hoo all bets are off. *sigh* I can't explain how low and empty I feel. I'm sure it's normal, but I don't need this kind of despair. Anyway, I better go because I think this is only making things worse. Thanks for listening. Sorry if it's a downer. Good night.

1sT cOoL wEeKeNd

Hey! So, last weekend was horribly dull and my roommate and I sat aimlessly. BUT, this weekend was great. So I finally met Britt's friend Neil, who's a great guy. Plus, his friend Dustin visits on the weekends and he is an awesome musician. So, we played some card games in the lobby,which meant I was learning alot of games too. Later, we went to Starbucks, a journey in itself, and went to a party that was to benefit the hurricane relief. However, it was a bust so we left after a few minutes and spent the rest of our time talking and listening to Dustin play guitar and sing. It was awesome and we only decided to quit at about 5am because Britt really wanted to sleep before church the next day. Then, Sunday I played cards with them and they introduced me to some new bands. That's always awesome for me because I love music. Later, we ate with another new friend whom I can't spell the name of, took random pics, and they had to leave at around 7:45 because they were visiting family. So, Britt and I went to buy icecream and mag's and came back to meet with the girl whom I cannot spell the name of and watched Notebook. It was my first time seeing it so I bawled my eyed out. I woke up very puffy eyed this morning. So, it was great and now we're catching up on homework and I have to pick up April later since she left to visit her b/f. Best of all we have next weekend already planned. We're going cosmic bowling, I'm learning how to play Magic (card game), and I don't even know. It'll be great. *cheers* *glitter* *trumpets* :) Anyway, as you can tell I am adjusting to college and it feels GREAT. And I have to thank Britt for helping me get out of my shell a bit. Hope all is well and HAPPY LABOR DAY FOLKS!

GrOwIn Up?

So, I am in college now. Hence the lack of blogging. It's been crazy and busy, and I am still trying to adjust. Overall I am glad to be here in such a supportive community of youth. It is fascinating to me. :) I finally live in a place full of culture. I am currently reading Life of Pi which seems amazing and I've had trouble putting it down. in my seminar class we will have to go to two diff. churches that are not affiliated with your religious beliefs. I am SPASTICALLY excited. I know atleast one of my trips I will go to a Buddhist temple because I have long been fascinated with the relation between Buddhism and Christianity. It's amazing. To me anyway. I got to see John the other day on campus by surprise. His mom as well. It was lovely, especially since I just got out of class. I hope all goes well for him. He is an awesome guy. Nathan moved in the same day and I hope that his roommate turned out well and that all ran smoothly. We are embarking on a journey that will inevitably change our lives and it is terribly exciting and scary at the same time. sigh However, I better go and accomplish some of my tasks while I have time. I wish everyone the best and remember to "Plunge boldly into the thick of life." -Goethe. Also, for those college students who like to keep in touch and make buds, sign up for facebook.com. It is awesome. Adios!

UpS & dOwNs

I have just about everything ready to go for college which is great. I am finally becoming calm about the dorm situation. In fact, yesterday I called them to see if I needed to bring or return anything. I found out that we get a fridge and microwave with our room because they put three of us in a room. YESSS! Poor ppl unite! I also can return a few items. Both of my roommates seemed very nice and excited to hear from me, which made me very glad and relaxed. This could be exciting. And then, a meteor crashed into my email. The english class I was enrolled in was cancelled. So, my first day of school I have to find another english class. How odd, I am suddenly biting my nails again. lol *sigh* So my plan is to concentrate on how ready I am and try to forget about the class until I get there. :) I hope the plan works. Well I shall go work on my house. Adieu.

"You will make all kinds of mistakes;but as long as you are generous and true, and also fierce, you cannot hurt the world or even seriously distress her. She was made to be wooed and won by youth." -Winston Churchill

nAil BiTiNg

As of Saturday I am off to college. *shakes* I'm nervous and still trying to prepare. I can already see dorm life is going to be crazeh. I cannot bring a coffee pot to lord have mercy on the poor souls who have to deal with me in the morning. lol j-k :-SS Anyways, otherwise I am excited. Just wish the process was less aggravating. Hope all you freshman college students are doing better at this than I. Well, gotta go get more things ready and buy more. :-<>

TiTlElEsS

So, today was horrible. My mom was taking care of our neighbors dogs, and one of them, a pup, seemed odd and by today dying. My mom took him to the vet where he died in her arms. He had parlo. So, now we have to worry about our pup catching it, and we find out more about the pup that died. The owner took it from their neighbor because it was being mistreated. Apparently they got it from a poker game they won and it was sick when they got it and she didn't believe them, thinking they just wanted it back considering they hadn't done anything to help it. *sigh* Later, we go to a wedding that was horrible. It was a co-worker of my mom marrying. It was in her small basement, due to rain, with her never smiling groom. Tonight was the first time I saw him smile for a few seconds. We ate, dry Wal-mart food, and this single and pregnant woman stole the bouquet from a little girl claiming she needed it. WOW. I told my mom chances are I'll still get married before her. She wasn't dressed very modestly. Yes, even pregnant. It was bad. Anyway, I better go relax and hope I don't get bit by a flea. My pets seem to have made friends they had to invite. :( lol. Good-night and remember to appreciate those who care about you.

ToNgUe HeLd

Well, I had my last day yesterday. Lot of sad goodbyes by co-workers and fellow customers. Arlene and I will definately keep in touch. And this is where I find a reason to hold my tongue. I planned to ask my boss why I had been ripped on my pay. Well, she made a platter with chocolate covered strawberries, cheesecake bites, and mini cream puffs for me. Plus, she later gave me a gift and card AND a hug saying she'd miss me and she knows I'll do great. *sigh* I got teary-eyed. She got me a silver cross. So now, after longing to leave, I feel sad and miss them. Irony can be painful. It was very touching and I haven't felt so loved and appreciated by so many before. Oh, and David, at Flying Italian, let us have free dinner. It was lovely. Then, being Friday, it got crazy with customers and I wanted to scream. It was insane. Oh, and a co-worker of mine came in 2/3 hours late because he went to a heavy metal concert in Ohio. So last night had very opposing good and bad, but the good prevailed. Well, I gotta go clean the house for a get together Sunday so, see ya and pray for fall. This heat is driving me nuts.

BlAhZay

Hello! Yesterday I saw Ashley Johnson ( YAY ) and talked to her for a good half-hour. I was secretly hoping they would fire me because I clocked in right before I started talking to her. Anyways, we exchange stories about our summer and how we felt about college. It was wonderful and I hadn't realized how much I missed her. :( I have decided not to chop my locks off. (Due to much objection by peers) (Your welcome Nathan) SO I will get more layers in it to thin it out a little and make it less afro like. If I can keep my patience I hope to let it grow to the middle of my back, but we will see. I will be getting a car soon! *cHeErS* I'm not sure what, but it will be safe and dependable unlike my past mode of transport. Tommorrow is my last day of work and all I can say is GOD BE PRAISED! lol I plan to ask Barbara why she has ripped me on pay in the most polite way possible. Maybe it will help my friend Monique get a raise. Plus, she plans to rent the lower level of my house from my mom. It will help my mom's income and help Monique get away from her mom. All is well. *sigh* Well, I have to go help my mom get ready for our garage sale Saturday. Nathan I better hear back from you about that luch deal because I emailed you and posted on your site. You can email me from my profile. Well, hope everyone's excited about school and having a good time. Have fun and eat some extra chocolate today. Hey, dark chocolate is good for you anyway. :)

In NeEd Of VaCaTiOn

Well, work is killing me. Or that's how my body feels. 3days!!!!!! wha-ha! Oh, and Arlene, whom I love to death, gave me a card since I'm heading off to college and twenty dollars. She doesn't know it yet but I've adopted her as my aunt. :) College orientation is creeping up and they keep reminding me. It's funny, I think they worry more about me than I do. I saw Cody, yesterday and we talked about "Fiddler". Mrs.B got the russian tapes in. lol. And Cody hasn't started his summer reading with two weeks until school. I told him to skip Native Son and read 1984 because it is awesome. I also saw Mrs. B today. She said she had some musical pics of me that were really good and that she had doubles! hazzah! I'm excited. We talked about college and boys, as in not chasing them (duh), and all that jazz. My musical theatre advisor reminds me of her. It comforts me. Next week I am leaving for Ohio to visit my grandparents (tell them about the divorce, ugh), visit my mom's highschool bud Cheryl (love her to death and her daughter is the cutest baby in the world) (next to Nathan's bro :) ), and go to a wedding. I am excited about the wedding because it's for my mom's friend Lydalyn and she is marrying a Pagan. Not that, that's the exciting part, I don't think, but it will be simple and earthy so I have an excuse to get a comfy dress from Green Earth Emporium. They are literally free size. I love that store! I was tempted to buy PSP just because they have the movie Labyrinth for it! If you have not seen that movie you must. It's awesome. And David Bowie is in it. ? Odd, no? Anyway, I must get sleep because I have to work again tomorrow. Oh, quick note. I am chopping my locks off. They are thick and unruly and the heat is getting to me. I must show you once I do it. hmm Nathan perhaps a group of us should have lunch before we leave. hmm. Anywhoo, I must jet. Sleep tight and remember not to put off things you wish to do because tomorrow can easily become ten years ago.

*SiGh*

I've decided people abuse me because I am nice and passive. I've worked at Quizno's two years and get paid $6.75. Two guys were hired and they are getting the same pay. One of which just sits around until close. *sigh* Well 6 days left. So, it's all good I guess. I have to sing at church next Sunday and I'm still unsure what I am going to sing. I am so nervous. *jitters* I feel special though. :) Plus, I'm getting my mom to go to church! AND my brother! God's amazing! ANYway, I better get to bed because it's past midnight and I work 11am to close today. I will be zonked. So rock on and God bless.

FaItH vS jOb?

My friend Misty will not be working at Quizno's after next week. My boss told her if she would be doing mission work during school she had to chose mission work or her job at Quizno's. I had to laugh when my boss was surprised she quit. That woman can't imagine people going against her. So between me leaving in August, Misty leaving, Arlene retiring at the end of the year..... she's doomed. I feel an evil laugh coming on .... bwa-ha-ha .... , but I feel bad that she's just realizing no one likes working for her. Well, C'est la vie!

WoRk Or WoRkOuT?

Tonight at work the cooler busted and we had to drag/lift 100's of lbs. of goods to the gas station next door. UGH. 2 weeks and 2days left at Quizno's. *yessss*

SHOTS!

Okay, I am very excited about going off to college, however the many needle pokings I am enduring are not as fun. As of yesterday I received my tetanus, hepatits B, tuberculosis skin test, had blood drawn, a physical, and peed in a cup. They should give warnings about things like that because I drank nothing before I arrived. I had to hear them open their little door in the wall repeatedy waiting for my sample. Anyway, I have two more hepatitis B shots and my meningitis which requires the health department. YAY. :( I am free of Quiznos as of August 5th. I have never been happier to leave a job in my life. It's worse than high school at gossip and my boss isn't the most wonderful woman in the world. I will miss some of the nice customers, but one of them I will probably keep in touch with because his son is making an album I want to buy and he may attend the Belmont next year so I could tell him what it's like. Plus I'll probably visit in the summer. I'm going to Ohio in August to see family and old friends. OH, and attend a wedding. I'm excited, but I worry it's not in our budget. My mom has to get a part-time with her full-time to pay for our house and such. It's not looking good at all. Plus, I am bascially holding the house together and soon I will be gone. I've been trying to get my mom to understand that so she can start to try and schedule her days so she can keep up with housewaork and make my brother help. That's the only reason I am nervous about leaving. It's been causing me to get headaches quite often lately and severe as well. Anyway, I better get to work. Both at home and my job at 3 'o clock. Ugh. We have an hour meeting there today about changes to the way we run. *yawn* Boring movies with poor humour. *sigh* Anyway, enough complaining. Otherwise, life is fine and I am reading an amazing book called Broken for You by: Stephanie Kallos. It's how I unwind after work. Well, I better go. Adios.

3aM=RaNdOm?

So I got to thinking, by george at this hour at night ha!, & well, my blog could use something interesting like my opinions on current matter. What an epiphany! Anyway, I've gotten so used to living in the bible belt where stating your opinion would mean looking into the nossel of someones uncle's shot gun that I haven't said much opinionated lately. But really. My friend, who shall remain nameles so she doesn't catch on, has a boyfriend and finds it ever so imporant to find me a someone. Granted, it is not as funny as my other friend trying to hook me up with a twenty-two year old who was divorced and with two kids. By the way, that still makes me laugh. But, to all those who think like my bud nameless, please refrain. First of all, contrary to popular belief, some of us like being single. It's freeing. Secondly, if you care you won't make me feel so desperate that you have to approach strangers and ask them to ask me out. It is, well, irritting. Apparently by her account she knows what I want, but this is also the girl who most of the time could view marriage as freedom from abstinence. Yes, when married I think she will be a nympho. lol j/k I take it back for my safety. Anyway, next topic. I saw on the news today that there is another attempt to pass a law against burning the American flag. *sigh* Is this what it boils down to? I there nothing more important in the world to focus on? Granted the flag is an important American symbol, but I think we have a problem when the flag becomes America. I would like to think a country is stronger than a piece of cloth. Then again, look whos leading our country. However, I shall withdraw from that because that is an entirely different tangient though I did not support Kerry either. Also, if Obama, not that crazy Iraq man are chasing, chose to run for president in the future he just might have my vote. Okay, next topic. Like a bad English paper, eh? <~~~~ Canadian? Anyway attempting to focus. Actually that leads me to my next topic. Why is their no Starbucks in my neighborhood? The coffee place we had for a while closed and for the love of mercy I need my caffeine at times like these where I can't sleep or focus. *sobs* *gains control* For your sake I shall stop for I am blabbering because I have become an empty typing machine.

Nightie-night and may the sheep you count not chase you over the fence for they are over worked and under paid you know. ;)

GoD=FlOrIdA?

As of July 3rd a my small church group will be heading to Florida for a mission trip. There we will sing and make a CD, have bible study, and do missionary work along with other activities. It is sponsored by Son Power. Every part of me is excited, partly because I have never been on a mission trip before! My faith has been a crazeh path that I have most traveled in the past few years. I have especially grown spiritually this year. I have been trying to study the main religions to see the basics of them. I've been very busy so I haven't gotten far. It's not so much a search for the perfect religion for me, as a path to enlighten me and better understanding of those around me. Besides, as far as I am concerned I think God quite possibly put all these religions here because they were what the people that followed these faiths could relate to. I think God could have many forms and its not fair to conform him to a box. You'll have to excuse me just feel very spiritual at this moment and had to write a little. Anyway, I am extremely excited and I look forward to serving and connecting with God and meeting others with my same passion for music and faith. Enjoy the summer rays!

CrOsSiNg FiNgErS

If everything goes right I should be getting my driver's license Tuesday! YESSSS!

VaCaTiOn?

Yes. It is vacation and so far all I have done is worked to save money that I can't seem to save because I have upcoming events that require, what else, money. So my friend Misty and I are on the edge of being totally wiped out because of our crazeh schedules. It doesn't help that my boss hasn't hired anyone to make up for the five workers we lost. By the way, I have a huge tolerance to caffeine and decided to try an energy drink. I tried a sip of Red Bull before but it tastes horrible so I did'nt bother. This time I tried SOBE Adrenaline Rush. I'm not a doctor or anything, however I don't think it's right for my heart to be going multiple miles per hour, especially when some beats are stronger than others. So no more for me! lol I felt like the Energizer bunny; I was running and working crazy. I guess I'll just hafta try stonger coffee. I went to my voice teachers recital and she was amazing. She has this beautiful soprano operatic voice that just leaves you speechless. I wish I could sound like her. The concert was to get donations for a six-week trip to Europe/Austria for a once-in-a-lifetime music workshop. I plan to give her a good size donation and a card when I meet her for lunch next week. :) Stuff at home has been bad. We'll probably get rid of most of our pets because we can't afford them and if finances get even a little worse my mom could lose the house. *sigh* I really think my life would make a crazeh show. Anyway, I cannot wait until my first orientation during the last week of June because it will be the beginning to a new and wonderful chapter of my life. I hope all my friends from Seymour are enjoying their summer, but knowing our work-aholic attitudes I'm sure most of them are crazeh busy as well. I better go get out of my p.j.s and get a few things done, so goodday and farewell.

@~>~~~~~

RELIEF!!!!!!!!!

In 15 days I will be free of mindless Seymour High School and proceeding to a life of intellectuals and freedom!
Bwa-ha-ha-ha!

RaNdOm

Typical of me I felt random today and thought, being "Single's Awareness" day, I would vent a little. I love being single, don't get me wrong, but if I get asked one more time who I am going to prom with, I might go loco. Or order a date from Croatia. (my grandma would be proud. if he was a doctor.) LOL I'm a weird one. Anyway.... it's my 18th single valentine anniversary and to all those out there celebrating similar, rock on! So, I guess I'll go do my homework and again brew some tea. I'm a tea addict. And cheesecake. And pizza. And coffee. And candy. And peanut butter. AND BELGIUM WAFFLES! I think I'm hungry. I better jet before I eat the fish food because it's next to me. J/K *sleep deprivation*

* sweet dreams *

YaWn?

Kinda sleepy, but not ready for bed. Lots on my mind. I have an audition coming up next weekend at Belmont. I'm nervour on so many levels. I really want to go to Belmont and this is my chance. I'm afraid I won't be good enough. I won't sing the right notes, I won't act like Antigone, or I won't be able to do one move of dance practice. Ugh, there's something about approaching your future that can feel like being at the highest peak of a roller coaster, when you first start to fall, and your stomache goes into your throat and you can't breathe, and you want to scream, but your too busy wondering if you'll make it out alive. Weird analogy, huh? Atleast, that's how I feel about. I only have two more voice lessons until my audition and I am currently getting over a cold that has left me very congested. I've only applied to two colleges, I'm very picky, and so far one turned me down based on a screening tape. It was bad, I'll admit it. It wasn't destiny. Well, I'm going to brew myself a chai tea latte and get myself under covers so I can doze. Hopefully this will take some of the stress edge off.

*Nightie-night*